Getting Married to Someone New After Divorce
Going through a divorce can be one of the most difficult life events. The change to your family dynamic can take a toll on your heart, but many divorcees find love again.
The decision to get married again should be made carefully.
Do you fully understand why your first marriage failed? Have your children fully adjusted to the changes in their lives as a result of the divorce? What are the unique challenges that face a second marriage?
Statistics show that 67% of second marriages end in divorce. Understanding and addressing the challenges of a second marriage will significantly increase the chances of a successful second marriage.
Learning Lessons From Your Divorce While Leaving it in the Past
Mentally moving on from your divorce is important If you are considering getting married again, you most likely have moved on. However, any difficult life lessons learned from your previous marriage should be at the forefront of your mind.
Did you unintentionally ignore the needs of your first spouse?
If there was any kind of infidelity on your part or your former spouse, that should also be addressed.
What are your expectations?
Create an open dialogue about with your potential spouse. A shared commitment to learning from the past is a great first step towards a successful second marriage.
Combining Families
Children of divorce have already faced a huge life challenge. A second marriage can be just as disruptive to their lives, particularly if it means a new home and step-siblings. Before embarking on a second marriage, have a family plan. Allow your children plenty of time with their potential step-siblings. It also helps to make them part of the process.
Are they excited?
Concerned?
How do they feel about your potential spouse?
Listen to your children and take their thoughts into consideration. After all, you are all in this together.
Financial Challenges
Managing finances is a challenge for all couples. A divorce itself can be an expensive endeavor and if there’s alimony involved, there’s potential for resentment in a second marriage. Be upfront and honest about your financial commitments, needs, and goals. In some marriages, it makes more sense to keep separate accounts, particularly if child support and alimony need to be paid.
Relationship Challenges
Most divorced couples manage to be civil. If there are children involved, your second spouse will be expected to have a civil relationship with your ex-spouse. Animosity or jealousy can fester and ultimately lead to a second marriage ending in divorce. There can also be challenges if an ex-spouse feels particularly jilted, has lost custody of children, or engaging in criminal activity.
Could your new family be at risk should you choose to get married and combine households?
This should be recognized and discussed. Have a plan in place before making the decision to marry again.
Forgiveness and Commitment
Before getting married for a second time, it’s important to forgive yourself and release yourself from any previous baggage from your first marriage. Also, if your potential spouse has been married before, forgive them for any past transgressions. Commit to forgiveness, moving forward, and learning from your past relationships. A second marriage means a second chance at relationship success and happiness.
The decision to get married again after a divorce is not one to be taken lightly. A divorce presents different challenges from a family and financial perspective. All parties should be involved in the decision. Commitment to each other and having a solid plan for your new family is the key to success.
Contact a Family Law Firm in Raleigh
Going through a divorce is mentally and emotionally difficult. Having a professional guide you through the process can make it easier. If you and your spouse have decided to divorce, contact the family law professionals at Doyle Law Group. Our legal team is ready to help you. We can be reached by calling 919-301-8843 or by completing the form below.
